“I’ve been watching too much TV! I quit” she said.
“But now, without TV, I have to live with myself!”
“I was watching TV to escape my life. Now It’s hard to face reality”
…Congratulations on your sobriety! Treat this as
seriously as you would an addiction to drugs or alcohol.
The substance, the anger, food, sugar, video games, perfectionism, money, sex, TV, work, ________ younameit, that we use to bury our pain and try to escape daily living is not our real problem. It is an indication that we have deeper issues. When we stop abusing, if these deeper issues are not dealt with, we WILL use again.
The first recovery issue I admitted to was codependency. I now see that I said I was codependent because of the lack of social stigma attached to it. It was “safe.” I could keep my mask on. I needed my mask – I had secrets to keep. Besides, “Everybody” struggles with codependency! After I began to recover, I found some very painful issues – hurts, habits, alcohol abuse, anger, depression, misuse of sex, food, ice cream???, etc,etc,etc….
I finally reached the point that I did not want to pay the price I knew I would have to pay if I continued down the same path. So I took a different path. I walked through the doors into a group of “those people.” And found a life I knew only in my dreams.
I stayed in Celebrate Recovery until my miracle happened. Now I stay because God is using me to help others discover their miracle. And, I stay because my miracle is not yet complete. But I AM living my miracle!!! I used to visit this place of miracles- AA calls it a – “palace on a pink cloud”, but couldn’t stay. I couldn’t stay because I brought too much baggage with me. I had truckloads of junk that followed me everywhere. It made me too heavy. “Mercy sakes, I was a convoy!” I kept falling through my pink cloud back into the chaos that I called my life.
Celebrate Recovery taught me how to open my baggage, sort through the trash, pick out and reclaim the buried treasures, and clean up the mess. One truck load at a time. No, it was usually just one box at a time. I learned to ask for help. I learned to stay in process through the mess. I celebrated small victories and baby steps along the way. I learned to get up when I stumbled and fell. When I fell, I learned to check to see what I had stumbled over. Usually, it was something I’d swept under the carpet – I kept tripping over the lumps.
Now, I don’t live in a palace on a pink cloud, I live in a house built upon a solid rock. The solid foundation of my life, my “Higher Power”, is my relationship with Jesus. It’s simple – He Loves me. He wants me to love him back. He is vitally interested in every detail of my existence. He’s become my best friend.
We walk through my days together. As we walk together, I find we walk a better path through this jungle of daily living. He guides me. He protects me. He comforts me. He goes before me and clears the way. He brings me back to him when I stray. I’ve learned to trust Him more. As I trust Him more, I Love Him more. However, I’ve found out He doesn’t Love me more. He Loves me now just as much as he always has and always will. I now know that there is nothing I can do to get Him to Love me more than He already does. AND… there is NOTHING I can do to keep Him from Loving me as much as He always has, and always will.
Our Love grows because I learn more about Him. Our Love grows because we spend more time together. He’s teaching me to Be Still and Know His Love.
That’s my miracle! That’s what healed – and continues to – heal me. That’s the miracle I can teach to others – God Loves Us, and wants Us to Love Him back!
It really IS just that simple!