I woke up 2 hours ago and came to “My Morning Chair,” intending to write and process. Then my daughter came in because she was having trouble sleeping. I held her – we sat together and she became quiet. I think she may be asleep now. What a privilege to be there for her.
One of the things we shared was “Letting it go” That started my brain to spin, as it has a tendency to do at times. You’ve heard it dozens, perhaps hundreds of times; “Just let it go!” That’s a great idea! “J.u.s.t. L.e.t. I.t. G.o. Release it, stop hanging on to it. after all, Time heals all wounds”
We can’t just “Let things go.” As inviting as that sounds, it’s not humanly possible. Time does NOT heal ALL wounds.
Sometimes we think we’re letting things go, and all we do is sweep them under the rug. Problem is, that’s one reason our walk through life sometimes get so stumbly. We keep tripping over stuff we thought we’d buried. Have you ever notices how things from the past have a way of popping up at the most inopportune times?
We can’t just let things go – we need a safe and secure place to put them, and learn to leave them there.
“A place for everything and everything in its place.” Have you ever wished you could get your life in order? We need someplace safe to put those issues in our lives that cause us pain.
Journaling is one of the places I have learned to put my issues to rest. Something “magical” happens when I put pen to paper. The Process of transferring the chaotic thoughts from the cyclone in my head, down my arm, out my hand, through the pen in my fingers onto the page provides answers that can never be found in my head. I have come to believe it to be a spiritual process. My mind cannot navigate the chaos of my life without Divine Guidance. There have been occasions that my thoughts on the page become a prayer. I’m coming to recognize when that happens, and I reach for a different colored pen. Days, weeks, even months later, I see the issue has been – or is being laid to rest. Sometimes, the very act of writing it out is the answer.
Another place I set things to rest is between cups of coffee at a corner table in a restaurant with a trusted friend. One of my favorite personal mottos is: “A burden shared is less than half as heavy.” James 5:16 says: Confess (share) your faults (burdens) one with another and you will be forgiven (healed). (parenthesis mine) During the six days of creation, the only time God said a part of his creation was not good was when he looked down and saw that man was alone. We were not created to face the pathways of our lives by ourselves. I’ve experienced the miracle of sitting across the table as I shared the secret places of my life with a safe, trusted friend and felt the burden lift.
Another place I put things is in a small group of guys whom I’ve come to trust. I’ve shed tears in these rooms. I’ve sat in the midst of a group of friends and been open, honest and emotional. I’ve listened as they shed theirs. And I am / we are stronger for it! I began by sharing “safe issues.” After finding acceptance, trust and respect, I shared the secret things that were causing darkness in me and found healing in the light(ness). I discovered many of these guys at “Celebrate Recovery“.
Another place I’ve learned to put the things I’d rather hide is in the ear of my wife. I used to find so many reasons to keep things from her:
- This will hurt her.
- She will think less of me.
- She’ll be angry. With me.
- She won’t love me.
- I have to protect her.
- I have to be a “strong spiritual leader”.
- “She can’t handle the truth.”
I’ve discovered these were excuses. Excuses that hid some very crucial, real reasons (fears):
- I will lose control.
- I fear being real with her.
- I have to appear strong. For her.
- I have too much to lose.
- If I tell her, I’ll have to change.
and I don’t think I can… Change.
or – I don’t want to… Change.
or – I don’t know HOW… to Change
Now, the fears – one by one:
- My “control” of any portion of my life was a myth.
- As I discovered and became The Real Me, my relationship with my wife deepened.
- We became strong – together. In HIM.
- I lost only that which was never mine in the first place.
- I’d reached the point of being desperate to change. It became a Gift Of Desperation
It’s been a PROCESS (there’s that word again) getting from there to here. Sometimes 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. Sometimes 2 steps forward and 3 steps back. Or NO steps forward. But other times, it was a giant leap for mankind!! But I have discovered a level of openness, intimacy and trust in all my relationships that was impossible when I was not honest. When I tried to “do it all myself”.
There is a greater level of intimacy and trust between me and God since I learned to be honest.
With Him, (and myself) I’m learning (He’s teaching me) to take things to Him quicker
He’s the ultimate place that I can “Just let things go.”
Cast ALL your anxiety upon HIM, because He cares for YOU. 1Peter 5:7 NIV