Recently my FaceBook friend Angie posted: “(Are you) About to jump in the pit again? Talk to someone about how you felt last time and how long it took you to get out…”
I’ve just spent about a month “in the pit”. I called it a funk. But it wasn’t fun. One of the main characteristic of my times in a pit is that I isolate. I stop sharing. I stopped writing. I stop talking with others. I seem to lose that intimate closeness I’m learning to have with God.
It started when I stepped into a puddle of resentment over how I was being treated. I’d like to say: “before I knew it, I was in over my head“. But I was fully aware of every downward slide. But I just kept at it. I started to wallow in it.
Great word – “Wallow” Say it slowly… W. a. a. l. l. l. o. o. w. w.…
Do pictures like these come to mind:?
The thing is, I was right in my assessment of how I’d been treated. “I had a right to feel this way.” But I picked up my “right-ness” and dug myself a hole with it. I jumped in and just kept digging!
A phrase I heard in a recovery meeting comes to mind: “Do I want to be right? Or would I rather be well“? Resentments destroy me. From the inside out. Resentments fester and grow. Inside me. It pops out in ugly ways. As I try to control the ugliness, I bury the good stuff too. Resentments cause my cyclonic mind to spin in destructive pathways.
EVEN if I’m “right”. Perhaps – ESPECIALLY if I’m right.
“Lord, forgive me. Thank You for continuing to show me your way of Grace.” Because You are the Source of Grace in my life, I can give Grace to others. You continue to amaze me with your Relentless Faithfulness. To me. You pursue me. Even into a pit of my own making.
Once again, Lord, when I begin to wonder where you are, I find you right there beside me, looking over my shoulder.
Waiting for me to slow down enough to turn from my way back to your embrace.
Then, when I “come back” – You teach me The Better Way!
The Way of Grace
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Jim, when ever I am in need of hearing the lessons I know I already have, it seems that either you, Nina, or Ruby have been having a similar lesson.. I have been in my pit also for a while.. Feeling rightous about how I think I should be being treated.. but feeling worse and worse all the time.. Funny that just last night, my daughter did the same behavior that I had done just the day before that my husband was upset about.. He laughed and said, I guess I don;t need to show you how annoying that is! Its right here!! We both laughed…
Ha! I guess that’s what I’m doing right now… W.a.a.l.l.l.o.o.w.i.n.g!
Right! But it means we’re not alone. (even if we want to stay’n wallow for awhile) W.a.a.l.l.l.o.o.w.
Sometimes, the most worship-ful thing we can do is to rest for awhile. He’s really the one who’s in control, anyway.
Got it! Still, in the pit with us or out of the pit ready to grab a hold of us… He’s waiting for us to make the decision to get out.
Mar; my point (sorry I didn’t make it clear) was meant to say – He doesn’t wait OUTSIDE! He’s right there with us. He doesn’t just reach a hand down to us, He climbs in with us. And. Waits. Patiently.
Where can I go from Your Spirit? Or where can I flee from Your presence? If I ascend into heaven, You are there; If I make my bed in hell, behold, You are there. (Psalms 139:7-8 NKJV)
I’m in deep, Jim. At this point, I need a ladder to get out. I like what you said about being in the pit and how Jesus won’t go in there with us. But, when we come out, He’s right there waiting for us.
Marlene: when I was a kid and movies were a “no-no”, I was told: “If U go into a theater U go by Urself, ’cause Jesus won’t go in there with U. He has to wait till U come back out.” There were lots of places like that when I was a kid.
I’ve treated my “Pit Times” like that. “Where’s God now?” I’m learning He’s standing beside me. In the pit. Watching. Caring. Loving. Waiting. Faithful. Letting me choose.
“…and when you have returned, (from the pit) strengthen your brothers.” Jesus said to Peter. (parenthesis mine)
“There is now NO CONDEMNATION…” That’s SO hard to remember when in the pit.
Jim, I can relate completely. I am in a pit right now. I have no motivation to do the things I normally do – finding some level of consolation in the “pit”. Reading your post reminds me that the pit is no place for a righteous person to be.