I started attending Celebrate Recovery because I could no longer live with myself. My secrets were destroying me. In CR I found a safe place to begin to unload.
After 30 or so months in CR, my journey took me into the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. There I found even more baggage. No wonder I could never keep my load balanced. Every time I tried to find a “Parking Place on the Pink Cloud” the load in my trailer would pull me back down.
I had to unload the trailer, one box at a time. Then – throw the stooopid box away!!! I had a habit of keeping all the boxes – “just in case I need it someday”. Guess what – I always did.
Today, my high school classmate Kurt suggested that I unhook the trailer and “get on down the road”. If only it had been that simple. At times I felt like I was pulling a convoy.
For me, part of the “secret” has been taking a series of baby steps, one box after another. I learned to keep an eye open for the treasures buried in the box. At some point the process stopped being garbage disposal and became a Treasure Hunt.
Today, I don’t park on a pink cloud, neither am a building a palace there. In AA, a pink cloud is a newcomer’s experience. What I HAVE done is traded a trailer loaded with trash for a heart and life full of recovered and discovered gems I cherish.
Some of the most important gems I have now are renewed relationships with family and friends. (Old’nNew)
But the best treasure of all is the relationship I have between myself and my “Higher Power, whom I call JESUS. He’s been the ultimate “secret” that has brought me thus far.
“Come unto me all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest”