On a scale of 1-10, what is the level of pain in Ur  life? 

Have U ever walked into a Dr’s office and seen this?



Something I’ve never understood is how individuals have different pain thresholds. 

That which would be a pain level of 6 or 7 for me and send me to the ER seems to be no worse than a stubbed toe for others. 

BTW – a very interesting blog about managing chronic physical pain is HERE. 

It’s said that people who live with chronic pain get used to it.  My wife has lived with a pain that started when she was pregnant with our daughter. (no – I’m not talking about myself) To this day, I’ll ask her if she’s taken anything for it. Lots of times her reply is ” I didn’t even think about it.” Me, on the other hand , will run for the Advil with the slightest twinge. 

While I have lived (and am grateful for it) a relatively physically pain-free life, the same cannot be said about my emotions. At the age of 11, a 6th-grade classroom prank that turned ugly began a lifetime of guilt and shame in me. More than 50 years later, I finally recognized the teacher’s part. I finally recognized that if Mr.M had handled his anger differently, my shame could have been eliminated. On that September day in 1956, I could have survived un-damaged. Fortunately, I realized that blaming him would not provide healing for me. 

I LUV!!! listening to stories of RECOVERY!! I have sat in recovery meetings and listened as men and women relate absolutely horrendous stories of abuse, abandonment, neglect and pain. Stories that made me realize, again, how my pain fades into nothingness in comparison. 

But I’ve also learned that comparison is not only the Thief of Joy , it is also an obstacle to healing. I’ve never forgotten one of the first Bits’oWisdom I heard in an AA meeting: “Listen for the similarities. We all have different stories, but in SO MANY ways, we are all the same.“

Growing up in church, I remember listening as guest speakers would tell their stories of life-transformation. I remember thinking “I’ll never have a story to tell. Maybe I should go be bad for awhile.” The cause of my pain paled in comparison to that which they had experienced. So I excused and hid mine. I diminished the effects my pain was causing me. It prevented my healing. “After all, what do I have to complain about? My life has been SO MUCH BETTER than his!” 

BUT – MY pain is MY pain! UR pain is UR pain!! I CANNOT measure the level of hurt U carry. U will never be able to gauge the pain I feel. 

 I am a firm believer in the 12-step process of recovery. I’ve experienced it, I’ve witnessed it in others. I also believe in BABY-STEPS in recovery.  

Yes, God can perform miracles and provide miraculous, “over-night” healing. But the normal healing process involves Baby-Step after Baby-Step, repeated daily. The 5-year process of healing is just as miraculous as that which happens in a moment. And much more common. Most of us did not fall into our pit over nite, in one giant leap or one sudden fall. Healing doesn’t happen over nite either, in one giant leap or one momentous decision. It’s Baby-Step by Baby-Step, repeated Daily! 

Lots of times, perhaps even, usually, I don’t recognize the baby-steps I take until the next day. Or the next week. Or months. My growth is usually seen in hindsight. Or by others. 

The truest healing happens in our thinking processes, not in our daily behavior. Our daily behavior is, of course , the most visible, but until our THINKING changes, we have not truly changed.  

Bottom line, recovery boils down to a change of heart.