Thursday Mrng Reminencing

More than 7 years ago, I wrote in my journal – 

          “God, teach me to Trust U more.”

I’d been realizing for a long time that I needed and desired to have a deeper relationship with the Creator of my soul. But I had no idea how to get it. I’d tried being better. I’d tried being less bad. (Did U know there’s a difference?) I’d tried doing all the right things like praying, reading, giving, journaling, etc.etc.etc. But I just didn’t seem to be able to keep it up long enough to achieve “IT”   I kept getting distracted, busy, tired, lazy, feeling guilty!

Seven years ago tomorrow, my Mom passed away after battling cancer. Little did I know what lay ahead. I now realize that God was answering that journaled prayer in the only way I would let Him. I went (He took me?) to the deepest hole I’d ever known. 

It was THERE I found God in a way I’d had only  glimpses of in the past. I now call that place my Gift of Desperation.  

It was there I finally came to a greater understanding of His Love for me. As I discovered the Depth of His Love, my response was to LOVE ‘n TRUST Him in return. 

It really is true: I Love Him Because He First Loved Me!    and    We can only Love if we have First Been Loved.  

I first posted the following in March of ’14

https://itreallyisjustthatsimple.com/2014/02/23/god-cant-love-me-look-at-me/