I took my youngest (by a minute) G.son to school this morning. I haven’t counted but there are probably 20 or more traffic lights between here and there and back. About two thirds of the way to school I realized I had stopped at only one red light!! We continued on to school, I dropped him off and on the way back it continued – Green light after Green light after Green light! “WOW!! What a wonderful day this is going to be!”
- Then, it happened! I did it! It was my fault! I wasn’t paying attention (too busy congratulating myself, I think) to where I was and I made a wrong right turn. About two blocks down that road, I realized where I was and at the first opportunity made a U-turn.
I’ve been in Recovery a bit more than 8 years. This path I’m on is MUCH smoother now than before. There are days I hit “Green light after Green light after Green light.” It’s real tempting on those days to not pay close enough attention to where I’m going. Some days, before I know it, I’ve made a wrong turn. Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about the consequences that await me at the end of that side track. I’m now much quicker to realize I’m headed the wrong way and I make that U-turn at the first chance I get.
This morning, when I realized where I was and what I’d done, all I did was say: “Oh, Ratz!” I didn’t reach into my “backpack” and grab my favorite tool to beat myself up. (like I used to) In the past, I would become so wrapped up in condemning myself for my mistake, I could be MILES down the road, and it would be a LONG way back. Sometimes, I’d get lost down that side track and wonder if I’d EVER make it back.
My WW and I love taking Road Trips. When I’m driving, she usually pays pretty close attention to what’s going on around us. I’ve told her “If U see something U think I need to be aware of, feel free to speak up.” It’s always better for her to speak and tell me something I already know than to keep silent and then we’re both sorry later. I needed her in the car with me this morning.
I need somebody walking with me as I travel this road of life.
I need someone who can speak up when it’s needed.
There have been times she’ll speak up and my thought (or words) will be: “Honey, sometimes I wonder how I managed to drive that huge bucket truck for ATT all over three counties for 40 years without your help!” She often replies (nicely): “I wonder the same thing sometimes!”
I have learned give her the freedom to speak up when it’s needed. It’s become a two-way street. There are things, there are times that I need to speak into her life as well. (though it’s hardly ever about her driving)
Do you have someone in your life with the freedom to speak up when it’s needed?
It’s a lot more important than U might realize.
The way of a fool is right in his own eyes,
But he who heeds counsel is wise.
Proverbs 12:15 (NKJV)
I haven’t heard The King’s Voice lately. I wonder if it’s because, like me, He’s grown tired of all the political bickering.
My WW’n I spent most of last month away from it all, cruising through the Panama Canal. Well, at least away from the majority of it. I see now that it took a few days to “get away from it” while we were gone. I fully intended to keep my distance upon returning. I’m amazed how quickly I was sucked back into the vortex. The voices are shouting even louder than before we left.
I remember evenings standing at the rail, gazing into the gathering darkness with my mind as still and quiet as the distant horizon. This verse from one of my favorite hymns slipped into the quietness of my mind:
“When peace, like a river, attendeth my soul –
When sorrows, like sea-billows roll –
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to know –
It is well, It is well, with my soul…”
This morning, in these early quiet moments, I’m reminded that the Peace-full Stillness I seek is not in silence from the strident voices surrounding me. Just as in this stillness, I hear the tick-tock,tick-tock,tick of the grandfather clock in the corner, the distant rolling of the train across town, the first chirping of the early birds at the feeder, and of course, the quiet breathing of my sleeping WW, there is a quiet place within my soul where I can once again hear the gentle whispers of My King’s Voice saying:
ThkQ for reminding me this morning that You are already aware of what will transpire tomorrow. I’d like to think You’re in control and I can simply petition You to make my choice reality. In actuality, I know that some of your other kids are asking You for the opposite of what I want. One of the real temptations is to let our differences lead to anger! Perhaps that anger is part of the reason I don’t hear Your Voice! I think I’m glad I’m not You!! lol
ThkQ for reminding me this morning that WHATEVER happens tomorrow, in that quiet place deep inside me, I will still be able to sing/say/know…
“It Is Well, It Is Well, With My Soul!”