Have you ever struggled with the idea that God Loves you? Some do, others never do. I do, my wife doesn’t. Why? I have absolutely no idea. How can she simply accept as fact that God Loves her – and that’s that? Why can’t I?
I recently wrote: “God can’t love me – Look at me!” At 4:00 this morning, this new thought woke me up:
“Well, Of Course God Loves me, look at me!”
At that early morning hour, at that first waking thought, I assumed this was the opposite viewpoint of my previous blog – Now that I’m awake, I’m realizing that both are the wrong perspective. Both statements have their foundation based in my insatiable EGO. “I” am looking at “me”.
I have discovered – at a HUGE cost to my ego, the only reason God Loves me is simply…
BECAUSE HE CHOOSES TO
God does not Love me because I’ve finally gotten it all together. He doesn’t love me because my Daddy was a preacher man. He doesn’t love me because he has a plan for my life. (He has a plan for my life because He Loves me.) He does not Love me because He needs a missionary to China. He doesn’t even Love me because He sees potential in me. He doesn’t love me because I am or I’ve done or I’ve said ANYTHING (or not).
He simply Loves me.
My EGO hates it when I can’t find a reason why God Loves me
My ego hates it so much it keeps making them up
Or, it finds reasons why God CAN’T Love me
They all prove to be false
It was some 35 years ago I listened as a guy said to me: “Jim, my wife told me she wishes I were more like you.” My first, ego-driven thought at the time was: “Well, of course she does – look at you!” (thank God I didn’t voice that to him)
What I said to that young man was – “Eric, guys like me do guys like you a real disservice when we hide our real selves.” Of course his wife wanted him to be more like me… she was comparing the man she lived with and saw every day with the man I let her see occasionally. There was a big part of me – under the secrets – that was a lot more like him than I wanted anyone to know.
I still cringe at that. Problem is, at times, I still
want to think it. “Of course God Loves me… Look at how much I pray… At how much I give… At how much I study His Word… At how hard I try… At how much I _____fillintheblank”
But if I pick up that shiny coin and stick it in the pocket of my soul, the other side of the coin – the one I think is the ugly side – says: “But God can’t really Love you…” When I carry that coin around in my pocket, I never know which face I’m going to see when I pull it out. I never know which side of the coin is the truth. That’s because the coin is counterfeit. Both sides of the coin are as ugly as sin.
It looks real. It feels like reality. It’s even a very commonly accepted form of exchange we use daily with everybody in our lives.
When I began to discover the TRUTH – God Loves ME! With no “Ifs“, no “Whens“, no “Unless’s“, no “Untills“, no “Buts“, no “_______fillintheblank’s“, I began a journey that is bringing me into a place of amazing freedom. I finally began to Discover the Real Me.
Freedom to walk with Him in His Garden. (That’s why I chose the picture at the top of my blog pages) Freedom to lie down and rest in the green pastures. With Him. Freedom from judging others for what I perceive as their failures. Freedom from the Pressures of Pretending. Freedom from the hurt when I think others are judging me. Freedom from the struggle to understand His Way for me. Freedom to step through the veil into His Presence – simply because He’s Calling. Me. I’m finding a new freedom to Love OTHERS simply because I’m Loved, and – The One who Loves me Loves them.
My EGO REFUSES to walk through the veil. But on the other side of the veil is where the FREEDOM resides. Do I choose to stay with my ego or do I step into (His) freedom? The difference between the two sides of that choice seem to be more vivid everyday. In fact, it seems like it’s becoming a daily choice.
There is some truth in the statement – “one can only Love as much as one is Loved.”
God has more Love for me than I think I need, more Love than I can understand. He has more Love for me than I can hold. That’s why He keeps changing me. So I can hold more of His Love. In fact, I now have so much of His Love I can’t hold it all. I have to give some of it away. The more Love I give away, the more He provides – In, For, and Through me.